Ron Swanson

I have to make this quick, they're about to get me. There's this conspiracy going on where i think people are chasing me when they're not. It's called BEING FUCKING INSANE. WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAW A BLACK HELICOPTER.OR A RAVEN, BUT IT ONLY MAKES SENSE TO HAVE A HELICOPTER.CAPS LOCK IS STUCK. Ok thats better. Anyways if anyone wants to buy an anit-mind control tin foil hat, they're only $5!

Why history is all just potatoes fighting

Basically no-one really cares about an ancient Greek guard. He has no money or a palace, but he has swag. He might be the coolest guy you'll ever meet. But then he will be the main character, and we don't want that. It's always better not to have sex with your mother. Just sayin...And what the hell is wrong with 19? Its such a crappy number, and probably a terrible age. Basically you can legally have sex at 18, and then get herpes at 19. Awesome. I feel like Greek drama was invented by robots. Most of the names for parts of the stage sound like transformers to me. I AM THEATRON, GUARDIAN OF PARODOS OF THE ALMIGHTY SKENE. cmon people.The worst part about Greek theater is the sacrifices. They're all goats. Not one person, not even a little bit? to sum this all up vegetables tell stories better than people.
------>>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OkMqp_a188&feature=youtu.be<<<------

Hella cold mah white business associate

Won this morning. How? I correctly guessed 13 degrees because im a superhero. The Human Thermometer. Basically i tell the human torch how hot he is, temperature wise... Anyways i think i passed the first part of my first year of high school. Which when i put it that way, doesn't matter at all. But still i live another day in this dog-eat-chocolate-and-die world. To conclude my cat attempted to kill me by sitting directly on my face this morning, and almost succeeded, when i survived, she decided to keep me alive for another day so i could feed her. Awesome. If any one is reading this.. she.. she.. AHHHHHH>>> meow

Confessions of a serial eater

the title may sound evil, but here we go. Sell em' when they're young. They're cuter and will sell for more. At least when you're breeding frogs. Probably won't post for the rest of the week cause of finals. If you need a fun game to play, look up Eric The Circle. And finally, eat yellow snow, it might be lemonade mix.

Yikes

Turns out i can't get on my blog from home anymore so all of these will be school posts. Didn't write anything overbreak because me and Nicholas Cage were on a quest to find the 1st amendment's original copy. Heres a video for your trouble
 --->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjaZNYSt7o0<---

Happy End of the World

Man, bitches be trippin. What if the end of the world isn't the end of civilization, but the extinction of some vital species that will result in nuclear war.(For those George Bush fans, Nucaler) What if today is the goldfish's last day on earth, all goldfish will mysteriously die, and goldfish eggs will be kept in a vault guarded by 9 armed men.  Whenever someone tells you Merry Christmas, tell them your a muslim. Some of you may think im spending alot of time on fish, but when the world fucking floods ill be adapting gills while you dickheads drown, and even if i get a dolphin blowhole, im still not saving you jerks. Death To All But Metal (I take no credit for the fucked up lyrics of this song, Kyle found it) - look that up with HEADPHONES on. Don't watch the music video either... just sayin. Anyway snow was shit yesterday, we got like 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/4/8/9/9/10 inches of snow. Well have a nice end of the world, and don't go on facebok for a few days, theres gonna be allot of people posting that you wanna kill.

How to save the economy using only fish!

Thanks for the multinational views! I found out today that there are multiple people in germany reading this shit! This is another post in english doing that imaginary paper. On the bright side all the teacher sees is me typing away! Fuck her though she keeps walking back here, so i change to a blank word document and get a distressed face on. I'm getting pretty good at it too. sometimes i hold my head im my hands or runs my hands through my hair sadly. I think the real end of the world is because there is some hipster event tomorrow, and they will all rebel and kill us with their vintage clothes. Thats why I'm stocking up on lighter fluid and matches. Come at me bitches. In all seriousess though we're all fucked tomorrow. (i wanna see how many unplanned babies there'll be in September.)